


Progress

by novembermond



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Guns, Hurt/Comfort, Knitting, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1456705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novembermond/pseuds/novembermond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You said the Bad Word! Never say the Bad Word!”</p><p>Or: Bucky's recovery (?) told through scenes with other Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Progress

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [【授权翻译】Progress (by novembermond)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6763255) by [rebecca0830](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebecca0830/pseuds/rebecca0830)



Steve had expected Bucky to go into hiding, confused and hurt as he was; or worse, he might go back to his handlers. That thought was gut wrenching. Steve thought finding him came down to three questions: What would Bucky do? What would the Winter Soldier do? And what would a man who was neither completely Bucky nor the Winter Soldier do? 

Turned out Bucky was not trying to hide at all. 

Steve woke with a start. He opened his eyes only to look down the barrel of a gun. And above that gun – him. Bucky did not look too great. He looked like death warmed over twice (or, probably seven times or however often they had frozen and thawed him, the files were incomplete). His stubble had grown into a full on beard, his hair was hanging limp into sunken eyes. Steve remembered Bucky’s eyes when he had found him in Zola’s lab. This was so much worse. 

Bucky’s lower lip trembled, but his hand was steady. Steve exhaled slowly. He was not willing to fight Bucky any more than the last time. “Stand down, soldier!”

And to both their surprise, Bucky did. He stepped back, lowered the gun and gave Steve a wide eyed stare. Steve sat up very slowly, so as not to set him off again. “Put the gun down” he asked, gently. 

Bucky swallowed. “You,” he whispered. “Mission…” he trailed off again. He raised the hand with the gun again, his flesh and blood hand. Steve tensed, but all Bucky did was putting the safety back on before depositing the gun in Steve’s lap. “Steve?”

“Yes, yes, I’m Steve. Do you remember?” He put the gun into the bottom drawer of the night stand with slow and controlled movements. There was no need to remind Bucky of his mission any further.

“Yes. No.” Bucky’s eye brows moved up and down again, like they always did when he was emotional. Steve wanted to cry.

“Sit down.”

The man who was so much Bucky and also not sat down heavily on Steve’s bed and allowed Steve to hold him all night. If he noticed Steve sobbing into the crook of his neck, he didn’t react or mention it. 

*

When Steve cancelled his “trip” with Sam, he got a deep searching look and then a sudden grin in return. 

“Just say so when you need me. You know where to find me. If you – or someone else – want to come to our therapy sessions, the doors are always open.” 

All that Steve managed to get out was a strangled “thank you”. 

“No biggie. But if maybe you want to praise my sexy manliness in front of the Widow, I would certainly not complain.”

*

Steve had gotten only a few days of peace when Tony Stark barged in, unannounced. “You see, since quite a few agents came over to work for Stark Industries, and as far as I know all your bank accounts are still frozen from the HYDRA fall out, I figured, hey, I don’t know what I’d do with a super soldier, but it would be nice to have one. What I’m saying is, I got Bruce his own lab, I can find a place for you as well and speaking of big, green and angry, he’s been wanting to do some experiments on you and since we’ve stabilized extremis…”

Steve barely got the time to flinch. He just threw himself at Stark to get him out of the bullet’s line. 

“You said the Bad Word! Never say the Bad Word!” He whirled around to face Bucky. Steve really didn’t know where Bucky kept on getting them, but every time Steve locked away one weapon, Bucky had two new ones on him. This time he held a sniper’s rifle and kept it trained to Stark from the other end of the hall. “No, Bucky!” Steve yelled. “It’s alright, he’s not an enemy! He didn’t mean it!”

“What bad word?” Stark mumbled. Then it dawned on him. “Experiments?”

Steve could have slapped him. “I told you not to say it!” A second bullet embedded itself on the floor, only a hair’s breadth away from Stark. This was a good sign. If Bucky had meant it, Howard’s son would be no more. 

“Put the rifle down right now! No shooting people in the living room, Bucky! You know the rules.” Bucky looked unhappy, but he obeyed. Steve sighed and plopped down on the couch. Bucky padded into the room and sat down next to Steve, all the while glaring at Stark.

“Alright, I got it. Bad Word.” Stark straightened himself. “Is he always like this?”

Steve smiled. “Only on the good days.”

“Weeelll, anyway. I stand by my offer. If you need cash, or, you know, a real place to live in, call me.” He pointedly looked at the various bullet holes and destroyed furniture. “You don’t even need to work for me. I’m building this new place, I call it Avengers Mansion. Thor already moved in, you know? I can add a second bed room to your suite.” 

Bucky growled.

“Welp, gotta go.”

*

“How is he?” Natasha asked one evening. 

To everyone else Steve would say “fine”, but Natasha deserved the truth.

“Struggling. He goes to group therapy twice a week, but he has yet to say anything. Someone from the group teaches him to knit. It’s supposed to be soothing.”

“That’s great progress.” Natasha said and Steve relaxed. If anyone would know, it’d be Natasha.

*

Bucky stopped bringing in new guns like a cat would bring in trophies.

The next thugs who tried to murder Steve were taken down by knitting needles instead.

Steve found himself faintly wishing they had made Bucky take up Ikebana until he remembered that one came with sharp scissors. 

*

They moved into Stark’s new mansion after all. The top notch security was worth it, considering the steady stream of HYDRA agents and others who went either for Steve, for Bucky or both of them. When Thor was in, they finally got a good night’s sleep and later, quality time together. There was no better security than a Norse god with a huge hammer. 

And Thor was good for Bucky. Thor neither knew nor cared about the Winter Soldier, but he liked that Bucky was willing to spar with him. He was also very unlikely to say the Bad Word.

Sometimes Steve caught Thor throwing a wistful look at Bucky. He did not understand that look until it turned out that Thor’s evil dead brother was not so dead after all. Still evil, though.

Bucky crocheted him a little green and golden puppet. 

*

At night, they tangled up in their bed. In the beginning Steve tried to make Bucky sleep in his own bed. He gave that up very soon, since somehow Bucky always ended up sleeping on the floor next to Steve’s bed instead. 

Bucky stole the covers, but that was okay. Steve remembered a time when he would be the one to steal them, when he was small and often cold. 

They had a lot of nightmares, both of them. When it was Steve who woke up sweaty and tense, Bucky calmed him down by kissing him breathless. Steve returned the favor. 

They were not okay by any standards. But they made progress and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> After credit scene: Clint invites Bucky to BA (Brainwashed Anonymous)


End file.
